Sweet Valley Twins #46: Mademoiselle Jessica by Francine Pascal
Sweet Valley / 23rd April 2018

Title: Mademoiselle Jessica Summary: A model family… Jessica Wakefield is sick and tired of spoiled Lila Fowler’s constant boasting. So when she reads about the Model Family competition being sponsored by Teenager Magazine, she’s tempted to enter just to put Lila in her place. The first prize is a fabulous, all-expenses-paid trip to Paris. To compete, all Jessica has to do is write an essay describing her perfect family. But the family Jessica ends up writing about is nothing like her real family. Still, it’s just a joke, until her twin, Elizabeth, posts the essay by mistake. Now it’s good-bye France and hello trouble—unless Jessica can convince the Wakefields to pretend to be something they’re not! Tagline: How far will Jessica go to win a trip to Paris? [Wing: Considering she buries people in the Mercandy backyard on a whim, I’m sure there’s no limit to how far she’ll go.] Initial Thoughts Two things: One, why are you posting your sister’s essay? WHY? WHY ARE YOU MEDDLING AGAIN? I DON’T FOR A SECOND BELIEVE IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. Two, I cannot spell “mademoiselle” right on the first try to save my life. Fingers crossed that I won’t have to write…

The Last Vampire #3: Red Dice by Christopher Pike
The Last Vampire / 15th March 2018

Title: The Last Vampire #3: Red Dice by Christopher Pike Summary: Alisa and her former FBI partner, Joel, learn of a government plan to capture them in order to steal and analyze their vampire blood for the purpose of duplicating it, and when Joel is caught, Alisa risks her life to free him. Tagline: This time the world hunted her… Initial Thoughts I remember nothing about this book. I know I’ve read it. I’ve probably even read it multiple times, though not since my early 20s, if not even before that. But I have no idea what the plot is here, or even who, besides Alisa, is around. ALISA NEVER GONNA DIE BECAUSE I’M GODDAMN PERNE IS BACK. Let’s do this. READ AT DEVIL’S ELBOW

Sweet Valley Twins #41: The Twins Get Caught by Francine Pascal
Sweet Valley / 26th February 2018

Title: The Twins Get Caught Summary: Against their better judgment… Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield can’t wait until Saturday night. Their friend Aaron Dallas is throwing “the party of the year” at a new teen club called the Hangout. Everyone from their class will be there—including Jessica’s latest crush, dreamy Todd Wilkins. But when Steven, the twins’ older brother, gets into trouble at the Hangout, Mr. and Mrs. Wakefield decide that the club is off-limits. That’s the last straw for Jessica. First, her parents wouldn’t let her get her ears pierced, and now they’re going to make her miss a great [Wing: Looking?] party! Even Elizabeth thinks they’re being unfair. Then Jessica comes up with the perfect plan to get them to the Hangout. But can she convince Elizabeth to go along with it? [Wing: Of course she can. There’s very little that she can’t talk Elizabeth into doing, including giving Jessica the shoes off her damn feet.] Tagline: Jessica’s scheming gets both the twins in trouble! [Raven: That’s literally the tagline for whole series.] Initial Thoughts When doesn’t Jessica’s scheming get them into trouble? It also sometimes gets them out of trouble. I’m more concerned about what’s going on with…